Muscle Count
by BigMammaLlama5
Summary: Have you ever considered how many muscles it takes for you to smile? To laugh? Frown or shout? How about bash someone's head in with a priceless heirloom lute? *Frozen Modern AU, collection of nine parts in one post. Violence, swearing, bad things happen.


So I was just boppin' along, scrolling through tumblr when I saw a post that made me write… whatever the hell this thing is. It was really fun and it makes me wonder if all the fumes I inhaled in the art buildings and rooms I frequented for going on two decades are starting to get to my head. Anywho.

This was originally written in nine parts hence the odd copy breaks, and those parts alongside the corresponding simple illustrations I did for them can be found on my tumblr if you feel adventurous.

**Rated M for violence, language, character death, and just… yeah.**

*_Crede tantum et est in potestate mortis_ [Trust only in the power of life and death.]

**Muscle Count**

Four

It takes four muscles to smile.

A quirk of the mouth is a smile… right? Sure. It can be a smile.

Well… that's what's currently stretching and pulling at the pink lips of one Anna Arendelle, head cheerleader of one of Oslo's more prestigious upper level schools in the city center. It wasn't a _real_ smile though… she couldn't remember the last time she had-wait. Wait she remembered. It was four nights ago when her older sister had said some rather… incriminating things. Just thinking about the sharpness of the mind and tongue lilting from the blonde siren's mouth was enough to threaten those four muscles to duplicate into more. Something she was not keen on doing any time soon, especially in present company. That particular smile was reserved for her sister alone. The thought made her shrug her shoulders under the white and green leather cheer jacket. The red head wiggled her toes in her cheer shoes and refrained from the urge to adjust the belt and waistband of her white skinny jeans. Her 'smile' nearly slid from her face when her conversation partner let his eye wander blithely down the front of her scoop necked flowery top.

"So I'll come over around six?"

The tall and lean figure of one Hans Westergard was leaning nonchalantly on the gaudy green lockers next to her, his lightly muscled shoulders angled into to give the impression that he was trying to block out the rest of the student body milling by. Anna eyed his obnoxious double-layered polo tees of blue and magenta with the collars popped like those moronic college fraternity boys from America. Pressed khaki chinos were maybe a _little_ too tight on his long lean legs courtesy from the fencing team, and his brown loafers shone dully from his butler's labor.

All in all, the sight of him made her throw up in her mouth a little bit.

Oh _sure_. He was the Mister Popular to her own status, but she honestly couldn't care less for the bratty rich kid with horrific sideburns. It made her mind wander further and further back to the hushed one-sided discussion she had attended in her sister' office earlier that week. She blinked the memories away languidly and pushed off from her closed locker, making herself step into the taller boy's space and hugging her binder to her chest. A brick wall of overpowering body spray burned the inside of her nostrils and threatened to make her eyes water. This was her favorite game to play, and it brought immense satisfaction to see the thoughts race behind the boy's eyes as if it were his lucky day. Oh… it was his lucky day alright.

"Don't be late. I don't like to be kept waiting."

The red headed cheerleader bit her lip playfully and winked. Her white trainers squeaked on the polished tile floor as her slender legs quickly carried her off to her first class and away from the sleazy gaze of her fellow classmate. She knew he was smirking, but if he could only see the expression twisting her face and chasing the other students out of her way… he would have been running for a different lab partner. Stupid, useless boy…

Sixteen

It takes sixteen muscles to frown.

If that could _also_ be considered frowning. She really needed to stop spending so much time with her sister. As much as she loved her, the woman could be a fucking robot for all Anna knew with her lack of expressions. But here she was, watching Hans waltz into her home like he owned the damn place. It was well past six-thirty and Anna's usually boundless supply of patience and good-natured bubbliness had already been nearly depleted by him earlier that day. The blue and white china vase on the pedestal next to the grand staircase cried out to be smashed over his head.

"You're late." She commented as the door clicked closed behind her, not bothering to hide the ripe displeasure in her voice.

"Oh Anna, don't be so uptight." He glanced over his shoulder at her in his usual condescending nature.

The red head's frown deepened for a fraction of a second before she was able to reel herself in with a deep breath. Anna squared her shoulders and gestured to the left with a dangerous smirk he didn't notice,

"Would you kindly-"

"Anna? Are you home?"

The eighteen year old's heart jumped into her throat when the low alto of her older sister snuck out from the parlor to the right of the foyer. She could hear the perilous Prada heels tapping predatorily across the dark hardwood and she quelled the surge of energy that made her want to tackle the woman into a bear hug. Talk about being saved by the bell-er, sister.

"Just got here!" She called right when the tall, lithe form of Elsa Arendelle stepped into the foyer.

Anna could feel Hans's attention turn a one-eighty from her to the older woman and was glad for it. The youngest Arendelle sauntered forward with the same quirky smile from earlier, one that exactly matched her sister's. Where Anna was warm and bright and flowery, Elsa was cool and detached and professional. Her slightly-above the knee navy pencil skirt stretched her figure gracefully, and her long sleeved billowy blouse with squared neck as crisp as new fallen snow hid the curve of her chest. When they reached the other, each sister leaned in slightly to the right and shared a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm sorry I didn't catch you earlier, I had an emergency back at the office."

"It's alright, I was just doing homework and waiting for my lab partner. Speaking of-" Anna turned and gestured towards the leering young man. "This is Hans Westergard."

"Ah, Mr. Westergard. A pleasure."

The older woman nonchalantly tossed her heavy platinum braid over her shoulder and extended a slender hand. Her icy eyes were cool and calculating, carefully cataloguing each and every way the auburn haired man moved to take her hand. He tried to be a bit more gentlemanly than was necessarily called for, carefully grasping the fair-skinned digits in his tanned and callused paw. At the last minute he dipped into a bow and pressed his damp lips to the back of the blonde's fingers. Elsa's brow quirked up in annoyance but played it off with a tightly controlled smile that pulled tensely over her teeth.

"The pleasure is mine, Miss Arendelle. You and your sister have a very beautiful home." He simpered, reluctantly allowing the woman to pull her hand free.

Elsa inhaled in through her nose and took a deliberate step back. "If you'll excuse me, I need to speak with my sister for a short moment."

Anna had to hold back a laugh when her sister spun abruptly on her heel and nearly whipped the sleazy boy with her hair. The intense frigid fire in Elsa's eyes made the smile fall from her face and bite nervously at her lip. Anna let her sister step in so close she could feel her body heat and smell the faint _Doir_ perfume. The red head tensed when she switched effortlessly to French, a language their mother had been quite proficient in.

"_Is he the one you picked?"_

"_Yes. But-"_

"_No buts. Tonight. I don't care how."_

"_B-but-"_ Anna swallowed thickly in an attempt to steady her nerves. _"But what if I mess this up? I'd shame papa and mama…"_

Elsa's piercing gaze softened immensely and she slipped an arm around Anna's waist and rubbed her side through the floral print blouse. She had to tilt her chin down to speak into the curved shell of her sister's ear because her heels boosted her up so high.

"_I'll be right there with you out of sight, just as mother was for me. Don't worry."_

Anna let the frown slip over her face again and nodded in acceptance, still not feeling very confident. Elsa kissed the soft hair just behind her ear and strode back into the parlor where her office was located another corridor away, betraying nothing to the eavesdropping Hans.

"The hell was that all about? And what were you speaking? Spanish?"

The red head frowned deeper and strode brusquely across the marbled floor of the main entrance.

"If you can't tell the difference between French and Spanish, I have little hope for our grade…"

Twenty-Four

It takes twenty-four muscles to become furious.

And right now, Anna was well on her was to becoming absolutely _furious_. Not only had Hans neglected to bring the majority of his school materials, save for a pad of paper and a pencil stuffed in his advanced biology book… he was _shamelessly_ hitting on her. He was making is fairly clear that he wasn't there to work, and Anna was _really_ hoping they would at least make a decent amount of progress before she was forced to follow through on Elsa's order. Family was first and foremost her main priority, but her schooling was an extremely close second. How could she get high grades, go to college, get a high paying job, and give back to her family if her dough-brained lab partner was only interested in getting his rocks off?

She couldn't. That's what. And there was no way in _hell_ she was going to let that happen.

"_C'mon_ Anna, we can work on that later." He wheedled from his sprawl on her bed, his less than decent tone rankling her hackles.

The red head slammed her pencil down on her desk and spun her desk chair around to face the procrastinator. She could feel the sickening heat crawling under her skin and writhing into knots in her belly. The unwanted occupant on her bed scowled at her chilly glare and rolled onto his back. Anna resolved to burn the bed spread later.

"Well shit, don't get your panties in a twist."

Anna could feel steam pouring out of her ears as she leaned forward, her fingers digging into the bleached denim on her thighs.

"If you aren't going to help me, _leave_." She hissed through a snarl of bared teeth.

"Lighten up, would you? I thought we could have some fun!"

He was just digging his grave deeper and deeper with each infuriating utterance.

"I didn't invite you over to contract an STD!"

The fencer rolled to his feet in an indignant huff, his Calvin Kline physique taught and trembling from the insult.

"Fucking _bitch_. If I had known you were such a nerd I wouldn't have wasted my time coming over here. You care more about your stupid learning and your sister to-" The color rapidly drained from his face and Anna could see the gears turning in his head when he stumbled in the middle of his accusation. Ill intent washed over his face and the red head knew he was about to try and hurt her for not wanting to fool around with him.

_Stupid boy. That's what I want you to do._

"It's _her_, isn't it?" He rasped.

When Anna shot him a genuinely bewildered look as he invaded her space, towering over her with a threatening intent that made her hair stand on end… he let a low rumbling chuckle rattle out of his chest.

"Your _sister_. There's always been talk that you are close with her, but now I'm starting to think it's more than that."

"What the _hell_ are you talking about?!" She knew exactly the rumors he was talking about.

"You're _sleeping_ with her! That _machine-_"

He was roughly cut off when the red head surged from her seat and shoved him squarely in his chest.

"Get your head out of your ass, she's my _sister_! Why the fuck would you think I'm _sleeping_ with her?!" She pushed sharply at his shoulder again. "And don't call her that!"

"Or _what._ I'm right and you know it. I knew there was a reason you were untouchable at school. You're too busy burying your nose in your book _and_ your sister."

Fury vibrated through her body and her nails bit into the palms of her hands. It shouldn't have bothered her that much. Anna had dealt with the harmful whispers since her parents had died when she was fifteen. She didn't know why it was all boiling to an ugly head _now_ of all times, but it was something she could use to her advantage. A snarl pulled at her lips and twisted her freckled face into a contorted visage of wrath. Hans could only bare his teeth in a triumphant smirk.

"What are you gonna do about it?"

Thirty-Eight

It takes thirty-eight muscles to shout at someone.

…Definitely a higher number than that, if you're yelling from your diaphragm and pacing… but at least that many in the face alone. Anna could feel her throat becoming raw with every bellowed syllable as she let her rage boil over and threaten to consume her. It frightened her because she rarely _ever_ got this upset and she could feel that it was going to get much _much_ worse. Her father had called it _'the curse of the mild-mannered woman'_. Apparently her mother had been the same way as she and her sister. Calm, collected, always pleasant, and more happy than upset. Neither her or Elsa had ever witnessed their mother's fury, but they had heard terrifying stories of it from their father.

It seems, right now, that Anna was successfully channeling that latent rage.

Anna didn't even know what she was saying anymore, just that it made Hans turn a couple different shades of puce when his plan backfired on him. They were trading insults with gusto, throwing each other's weaknesses back in their faces and blowing the entire situation out of proportion. If they had been paying attention, they would have noticed the house staff leaving for the night. Just a few moments in, the young woman found the cannon fodder she had been searching for.

Hans felt _threatened_ by her older sister.

Six-Hundred and Fifty-Six

It takes six hundred and fifty-six muscles to fight them.

And that's an estimated amount. No one really knows _truly_ how many muscles are in the human body because of those pesky smooth muscles that all run together. Like the stomach for instance. The ballooned organ is encased in smooth muscle with no beginning and end, so who's to know if it's one muscle or hundreds? At the moment, the smooth muscles covering Anna's stomach were aching and fighting to keep what was left over of her after-school apple down. Why? Because she and Hans were in an all-out, rock 'em sock 'em, punch 'em til they drop fist fight and she had just gotten sucker punched in the gut.

_Bingo_.

Anna had been waiting for this. A combination of their yelling match, posturing, and some extremely creative insults on her part that she was rather proud of to be perfectly honest resulted in the young man's temper _finally_ snapping. She knew he had a violent streak and she knew how to push his buttons to get to it to chafe his nerves raw. And now finally, her plan was coming together. All she needed to do was lure him out of her room, down the hall, _down_ the grand staircase and to the left to the main study. There was carpet in that room that neither her nor Elsa held any emotional attachment to so it made the most sense. The tricky part was not getting beaten into a pulp before she could get that far.

"_Bitch!"_ He howled and swung again, his face pasty and drawn as his rage blurred his pea-sized conscious that just _maybe_ he had made the worst mistake of his life.

Anna laughed cruelly in his face and stumbled back out of his reach towards her closed door.

"Says the pansy that hits like a girl! My _sister_ can hit harder than you!"

The young man roared again and charged, doing a fine impersonation of an enraged bull. At the last moment Anna side-stepped and back handed him hard on the back of his neck. The loud slap rang out into her bright room and was quickly followed by a deafening _crash_ as Hans collided with her door and popped the latch. He staggered to a jittery stop and lunged back into the room, his hands outstretched to wrap around her throat. Again she dodged, ducking swiftly under his reach and propelling herself out into the wide hall with a cry. She heard him scramble to follow her and hopped down the hall with taunts spilling from her lips. He rocketed from her bedroom and slammed into the wall when he failed to turn on a dime like he so loved to brag about. The sight made her burst into another cackling fit and she couldn't help but spit another insult. Adrenaline sang through her veins and made her vision and hearing sharper than she had ever experienced. She couldn't feel the dull throb in her stomach anymore and she took a fraction of a second to relish how the muscles in her abdomen pulled as she inhaled deeply.

A strangled promise of hurt and "_I'll get you-"_ gurgled from his throat as he chased the young woman in a mad sprint down the wide hall. As she reached the top of the grand staircase, a large hand wrapped around her upper arm and jerked her back, pain lancing through her shoulder from the sudden jerk. Anna couldn't muffle the cry of pain when she felt the tissue pull painfully in her joint, but it gave her the momentum to whip her arm around like a sling shot and plant her knuckles firmly on the side of his jaw. Unfortunately, Hans had the same idea and tears sprang to her eyes as a bony fist propelled itself into her right cheekbone. A sickening _crack_ reverberated in the open foyer and high ceiling as their fists connected and knocked the other off-balance. Thankfully on Anna's part, she had a banister to latch onto and stay upright while Hans sat down roughly. He was obviously stunned that she had packed such a huge amount of power into her punch, but he obviously didn't realize that he had done most of the work for her with the momentum of his pull. The young woman tasted blood and realized she had bitten the inside of her cheek when the blow had rattled her teeth.

"_Fuck-_" The curse slipped from her mouth easily as the coppery liquid bathed her tongue.

Anna forced her feet into motion, fear beginning to bleed through her adrenaline induced high. A cold and foreboding feeling pulled at the back of her mind, and the red head could only see her destination in her mind as her white trainers thundered down the carpeted steps. Dread boiled low in her belly as the sounds of Hans pursuing her started up again. He was halfway down the stairs when her feet carried her swiftly across the foyer, but her heart leapt into her throat when he leapt the last five or six with a grunt. She cursed his much longer legs as he quickly ate up the distance between them. Anna needed to buy herself a bit more time. She knew that she had had the time to prepare for this, but her nerves were beginning to get the better of her. All of the years packed full of bruises and aching muscles and hurt feelings stampeded through the forefront of her mind as she recalled the many long hours of training she had suffered through at her family's behest.

Determination steeled her spine and hardened her nerves as her next decision flashed across her mind. Her shoes squeaked obnoxiously on the polished floor from her sloppy one-eighty to face the charging Hans. Vivid memories of her fair and slender sister teaching her the fancy disabling move made popular by that American Actress Scarlet Johansson in the Marvel movies roared to the forefront of her mind. Surprise bloomed across his face as she leapt with him, her hand snagging his outstretched paw and twisting his pinky painfully to the ceiling. In that split second, his shoulders slumped as his knees buckled under the unexpected pain, giving her the opportunity to kick her legs up and around him. Her knee hooked over the back of his neck and she bucked her hips wildly away from his torso, throwing her upper body into a controlled twist and using his continuing momentum to pull him forward off his feet. Her spiraled energy made him spin with her, a feat that dumped him unceremoniously onto the floor with a deep _thud_. Anna heard his breath whoosh from his lungs and took the opportunity to scramble off of him.

Elation that she had finally had the opportunity to execute the high-octane move put her in a dangerously heady mood. With Hans slowed down again, all she needed to do was get to the study.

Her body ached. Her lungs stretched. Her muscles _burned_.

Sixteen

It takes sixteen muscles to take out a lute and bash their head in.

Sixteen _masses_ of muscles that felt rubbery and as taught as steel cables at the same time, to the point where the red head felt like she could either collapse at the barest hint of a breeze or run a full marathon.

Anna had _finally_ made it into the grand study, rich in mahogany and creamy beige carpeting. She had forgotten the carpet was beige… oops. No matter. It was far too late to change directions now. Her mind well and past made up, Anna veered off to the left just as Hans entered the room in a stomping run, his breath wheezing and his red face shiny with perspiration. Raw unadulterated hatred twisted his mouth into the ugliest snarl she had ever seen and it made her heart leap into her throat.

"_I'll kill you, you fucking BITCH!"_

His enraged roar echoed around the room as he charged yet again, but this time Anna was ready. Her hand closed around the neck of a beautifully carved lute from the early 1800's. The instrument had been in their family for generations, and it was unfortunately the closest thing she could find without running across the study to the enormous fireplace where the iron tools hung. When he was within her reach, Anna grasped the polished wood and swung up hard and fast with all of her might.

_BRAAANGGGG_

The rounded body of the lute smashed into the underside of Han's jaw and floored him in a daze. Blood oozed out of the corner of his lips and when he opened his mouth, Anna observed that he had harshly bitten his tongue. His eyes glazed over and tried to focus on her as she loomed over his sprawled figure. Triumph thrummed through her chest as she stepped over his lanky legs, her pristine trainers planted firmly on either side of his ribs. A cruel grin pulled at her mouth and she fought to control the nervous energy that threatened to make her arms shake.

"Let me play you the song of my people. _Crede tantum et est in potestate mortis!"_

His eyes widened in fear when he recognized the creed of one of the rare and more volatile mob families in Northern Europe. The fear was short lived when the lute came crashing down on his face again.

And again.

And _again._

_And again._

_Splak._

Six

It takes six muscles to realize what you've done.

Anna's jaw dropped.

She didn't move.

She didn't even _breathe_.

Her body was frozen mid-swing, the ruined instrument held high over her head. Hans wasn't Hans. Not anymore. Anna choked down the bile that burned up her esophagus and mechanically lowered her arms. She couldn't tear her eyes away from the mess that used to be a head, now bloodied and broken open like an egg. Gone was the perfectly straight Roman nose, flattened into his formerly angular cheekbones. Anna couldn't even tell where his eyes were. Not easily at least. His limbs twitched pathetically as his severely damaged brain shut down from the blunt trauma, and the acrid stench of ammonia and urine cut through the thick coppery iron of his blood.

The damaged family heirloom felt like an anvil in her grasp and it fell to the stained carpet with a pathetic jangle of snapped strings. Quiet hysterical laughter tumbled from her lips and rattled around inside of her chest. The faint scent of Dior perfume reached her nose and comfort washed through her frame when she was gently reminded that while she was alone in the room, her sister was not far away. Watching over her carefully to make sure she was okay. God, she loved her sister. But then the age-old question blared through her mind.

_Now_ what?

Seven hundred and Eighty-Four

It takes seven hundred and eighty-four muscles to hide the body.

And by this point, Anna's muscles were crying out for rest. It had taken her close to an hour and a half, but she had managed to _very carefully_ wrap the body in a tarp she had found in the garden shed (after pilfering a pair of gloves that fit) and drag it back to the building at the back of the property. Luckily there was a cobblestone-paved walk that she could stay on to avoid making any scuffs in the dirt and manicured lawn. Sweat trickled uncomfortably down her spine and she regretted not changing into more comfortable clothing. Anna wished that Elsa had warned her that killing a man without donning a proper sports bra first was an incredibly uncomfortable experience.

The red head huffed in frustration and adjusted the cursed undergarment from hell, her once-pristine trainers stained deep red and crumpling the blue tarp she stood on. This whole ordeal would have been a whole lot easier if she had been able to call in the muscle-but that wasn't the point of this generations-old tradition. No, she had to prove that she could handle an entire operation by herself, and so far she had the hardest part yet to accomplish. Cover it up and learn to live with it as a part of her every day life.

"Now what…" She muttered to herself, staring down at the cooling corpse on the floor of her family's property.

Nervous blue eyes scanned the walls of neatly hung tools and zeroed in on a short-handled axe the groundkeeper used to take care of small jobs.

_That could work._

Anna's feet swiftly carried her to the wall, only tripping once over the curled edge of the tarp with a clumsy flail of her arms. Her gloved hands plucked the tool from its hook and hefted it to test the weight. She nodded to herself and turned back to her task, realizing that this was going to be a much messier and much more difficult job than she had anticipated.

Oh well.

It wasn't like she had a choice, right? She was born into this. Not only was this expected of her, she _wanted_ this. This was only the very beginning of her legacy and if she wanted to be as good as Elsa and impress her, then she needed to pull this off.

So Anna got to work. First she cut off his clothes and stuffed them in a big black trash bag she had taken from one of the storage closets in the house. While she searched his pockets, she found a fat wallet full of condoms along side a messy tube of generic chapstick and the keys to his new sporty car parked out front. That got the juices flowing in her head and soon her plan was set in cement. Anna threw the wallet into the trash back with disgust and lamented the half-used chapstick as it followed. But the keys stayed out on the furthest corner of the tarp in an attempt to keep them clean. After a second thought, she tucked them completely under the heavy blue plastic and turned back to her task.

"Well… here goes nothing…"

Oh how her body _ached_. With every forceful swing and every heaving tug her muscles screamed in protest. They burned as she chopped him into two pieces. Into four pieces, forcing herself to try and block out the sickening suck of the axe pulling out of his flesh and the grisly snap of metal against bone. Into eight until he fit neatly into two more double-bagged trash bags to go with the first containing his clothes. Anna dumped the lumpy bundles in the middle of the tarp and threw in an ungodly amount of super absorbent paper towel rolls. If she were to move this operation successfully, she couldn't afford to have any more leaks than necessary. Her tarp ended up being a bit bulkier than she would have liked, but it would still fit in the trunk of his car. The red head was thankful that she didn't have school the next day, her absence paired with Hans's disappearance would be entirely too suspicious if she did.

Anna carefully rested her weapon of destruction on top of the mass and took a deep breath. She refused to look down at her clothes, knowing that she must look like a vision from a nightmare. Plus there was no time for her to worry about her favorite pair of jeans that she _should_ have changed out of… no, she would have to kick herself about that later. Anna grunted in frustration and shucked her gloves, tossing them in another trash bag bound for the incinerator in the basement the next chance she got. Her trainers followed and she found a pair of work boots that were only three sizes too big. Wads of paper towels and a "borrowed" pair of dirty tube socks that smelled like corn chips quickly solved the problem of her feet sliding around too much. Anna scooped up the keys with a clean paper towel from where she had left them lying forlornly on the cement and clutched them tightly in her fist. A second pause had her reaching for a second pair of work gloves and she wriggled her slender fingers into the tight suede with little difficulty. The cheerleader cut the lights in the garden shed and took off in a mad dash down the walk and veered to the left of the impressive mansion. She tore across the pavement and winced when her heavy footfalls echoed loudly against the architecture. The sporty little Prius that screamed _HI THERE I'M A DOUCHEBAG_ came into view as she sprinted around the corner, her blood-spattered arms wind-milling gracelessly. Anna skidded to a halt and gaped in disbelief at one of the most pretentious cars she had ever laid eyes upon.

"You have _got_ to be kidding me." She scoffed, continuing towards her new ride with a dragging gait.

It only took a moment to circle the house in the glorified go-kart and back it up right to the door of the shed. Another long twenty minutes later of huffing and puffing and a rainbow slew of the most creative curses tumbled out from the trunk of the dinky Prius. The steel frame groaned under the weight of its deceased owner and Anna was glad to finally hear the click of the trunk latch. She sighed heavily and wiped her sweaty forehead with the inside of her wrist. Next, she had to drive thirty minutes North to the Westergard summer home on the southern bank of the nearest fjord. The ride went quicker than expected, considering the fact that she was a jittery mess and really just wanted to down a couple glasses of wine. Or a bottle. Or two. She was glad that she had forced herself to go to one of his summer bashes a month or two ago and conveniently still had the address in her phone.

_Anyways_.

There was a small harbor a few hundred yards away from the house and Anna carefully guided the car down the winding asphalt, frowning when he headlights of the Prius glared off a metal gate secured with a thick chain. She cut the engine and clambered from the car with a tired groan, her heavy borrowed boots grinding against the early fallen leaves as she navigated around the barricade and went in search of something wheeled to help her. The next best thing she found was an enormous inner tube used for riding behind boats and pretending you could fly at forty knots. Luckily there was a cable nearby that she was able to borrow and ended up shuttling the dumpling-esque tarp out of the car, across the lot, and all the way down to the end of the pier. She paused and jogged back to the boathouse, picking the lock easily with the help of an extra handy dandy bobby pin. Anna scrounged up two small anchors that were on display and commandeered a roll of duct tape.

By the time she had reached the end of the pier again, her arms were trembling violently from schlepping the anchors out there. Anna forced herself to _carefully_ deposit the anchors onto the rough planking. She took a minute to roll her shoulders and shake her arms out, hyping up her energy before clumsily rolling the bundle onto the inner tube that bobbed just below the pier's edge. The water splashed noisily and the red head hurried to wedge the stolen anchors into the bundle before closing it up with the duct tape. The half-used roll found itself sealed in as well and Anna finished up the job eagerly before hopping up and locating a small raft and paddle. A few minutes of jury-rigging the two inflatable crafts together had her nerves further frayed but soon she was paddling out into the dark. She went as far as she dared, constantly checking back to make sure she could still see the headlights of the Prius.

Wind whipped spray up into the chilly air and made her hair and clothes cling to her clammy damp skin. Anna was cold, and wet, and itchy, and _really_ wanted a cheeseburger. She let out an almighty _FUCK_ when the tarp dumpling full of Hans _slooped_ into the water and splashed her rudely in the face. The return journey to shore was uneventful but a little more sluggish to the miserable cheerleader. The raft and inner tube were carefully replaced and everything she touched wiped down with a rag she found in the boathouse. The Prius puttered back up the road to the summer house and the red head had to ignore the achy pang under her left shoulder blade. The ass might have actually injured her when he had grabbed her earlier… that meant she had to call their creepily decrepit family doctor that smelled of _lutefisk_ and mothballs.

_Ugh._

Anna parked the car and wiped the entire thing down one more time; using the LED flashlight feature on her phone to check for any hairs and debris she could have left behind. Another grueling half hour later had her trudging up the steps to the front door and unlocking the house. She entered the airy foyer and located a narrow table on the far wall. There was a bowl full of keys on it so Anna assumed that's where they usually went, not wanting to be in the house for longer than was necessary. The key fob jangled dully on the pile of shaped metal and that was that.

Now all she needed to do was get home. And boil herself in bleach.

Zero

It takes zero muscles to never speak of it again.

And right now at this very moment when the from door to the Arendelle mansion clicked closed at 3:48 AM Anna wanted nothing more than to collapse into her bed and not move a single muscle until Monday morning. But-

…but…

She still had to clean up. Tears burned in her throat and eyes as she forced her leaden legs into motion, wincing with every step as the ill-fitting boots jarred her numbed feet from the miles of walking and jogging back home. Her clothes were filthy with Hans's dried blood and dirt from when she had to duck into ditches on the side of the road and avoid traffic. A bath would be _heavenly_ right about now.

Her ears picked up the sound of low voices and carpet being ripped up from the floor. Anna picked up her pace and stumbled tiredly into the study where the deed had taken place. Her sister, perfect, pristine, distant sister was standing in the middle of the barren study keeping a watchful eye over the team of Cleaners that were removing the ruined carpet. Her footsteps had attracted the attention of the slender twenty-one year old and the blonde twisted to see who had arrived. The coolly professional mask fell away to a bright smile and gaze bursting with pride.

"_Anna._"

The utterance of her name jolted her into motion again as she met her sister in the middle of the room. Anna smiled weakly and finally let hot tears roll down her dirty cheeks.

"Elsa, I'm so _tired…_ And I _really_ liked these pants…"

The stately blonde chuckled throatily and circled around her baby sister, cool hands coming up and smoothing up and down Anna's arms before resting on her right bicep and left shoulder. The red head could feel her sister's body heat through her lightweight flowery top and resisted the urge to lean back into the comforting warmth. She knew Elsa wouldn't be too pleased with her if she got her snowy blouse smeared with who knows what. Dior perfume caressed her nose and gave her relief from the stench of death that clung to her skin, involuntarily shivering when the blonde's breath fanned across her right ear and pale hands squeezed her.

"I'm _so_ proud of you Anna. You did splendidly. Mama and Papa would be so proud of you too, I know it."

"They would?" Anna's voice trembled from the praise.

"_Of course_ they would. You are our Mother's daughter, just like I am." Anna chest swelled from the high compliment.

"However…"

Anna's shoulders slumped.

"…yeah?" She warbled meekly.

"_However_… Grand Pabbie would be rolling in his grave if he ever found out what you did to his poor lute… Nice swing, by the way."

Anna groaned and burst into laughter, letting her head fall back gently to rest on the top of her sister's shoulder.

"Oh shit… Grand Pabbie would kill me… But did you see my helicopter? I actually pulled it off!"

"I did, it was well-executed." Elsa gently kissed the crown of her head. "Now go take a shower and go to bed. You stink."

"Hey!" Anna stepped out of her sister's grasp with a cross between a half-hearted glare and a smirk.

"Should I ask Kristoff to confirm?" Elsa quirked a blonde brow in amusement as she fought to keep a smile from splitting her face.

Anna snorted through her nose and raised her hands in defeat, deciding to let her sister have this round. She really didn't want to bring their enormous blonde friend and family thug into this, even though it was his team toiling away in the study. The man was nowhere to be found, and Anna wished he were there so she could get a hug and sneak a peek at his cute butt. Maybe she'd run into him on the way to bed…

"_Alright_ alright… but fair warning that I won't be up at all tomorrow."

Elsa just smiled and winked cheekily. "Get out of here, feisty pants."

The cheerleader resisted the urge to spit a retort but rolled her eyes instead and trudged from the room. Her shower was calling her name and she was bound and determined to answer it.


End file.
